Whew... Glad THAT's over!!

[Max The Doberman]

Ok... for those of you who don't know already... it's been a rough week.

Sunday was a rough day. First of all, my parents had some people over and they had this like, puppy person? Anyway, whatever it was... I haven't seen one before and MAN... are they loud! This guy (who I was already not liking because he had these... what my Dad referred to as "gay Top Gun sun glasses" over his eyes and I don't like that) was carrying this little person puppy thing and it was shrieking!!

I had NO idea what was going on! So of course, I start trying to talk to it and see what's going on, but the louder I talked to it, the louder it got! It was like, HELLO... I'M TRYING TO ASK YOU WHAT IS WRONG!!! STOP THAT SHRIEKING AND ANSWER ME!!!! Not to mention, anything approximately my height MUST want to play... and this one didn't!!!

Well, I didn't like ANY of that. So... finally I got to go and have a nap. Anyway, later, after the little puppy person (the people call their puppies "babies" I guess??? Sounds like a made up word....) had quieted down, I got to come out and sniff it a bit. He gave me some treats and things between us got better. I still don't trust that gay sunglasses guy entirely though...

Well, then my grandparents came to visit and I gave my grandma lots of kisses. Well, I didn't know that she might be carrying some kind of "bug" and wasn't feeling well. So, the stress of the day and this bug combined... my stomach was NOT good....

Now every now and again, everyone gets a little gassy. I know *I* do. Well, when that happens my tail end makes a noise and the gas goes away. Then my parents start making these "OOOOHHHHHH NO!!!" noises... anyway, this time, when I pushed the gas out... it was different. It was like an EXPLOSION. It was like poop... but not poop... and it splatted all over the wall. So I turned around to see what it was, and I was like, no way did I do that... that's not what happens when I out gas.... so I tried it again just to prove it to myself that it must have been one of those filthy cats who left that mess there.

Well.... needless to say... it wasn't one of the cats. BOOM... another explosion and more of that mess on the carpet. My parents rushed out and were all concerned about me all of the sudden. I figured I'd get yelled at or something but they just kept petting me and saying "poor puppy!" and asking if I was ok.

Well, I went into my room and my stomach got all upset again and YAAACK! What looked like my dinner was now on the carpet. YAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKK...... more of it! PLUS the multitude of other things like string and stuff that I'd gotten my mouth on that day was now on the floor. Just as I was about to eat it again (I was like... HEY! Get back in my stomach!!!) my MOM runs in and takes me away!!! I was like, HEY! That's MINE... I ate it fair and square and just because I yacked it up doesn't mean that I've released my claim on it!!

Well, my protests were all in vain. I ended up going for a rest and it was good I suppose because I really wasn't feeling that well.

So, next couple of days... they nearly starve me to death, only giving me a little bit of water and minimal food (someone call the humane society??) just because I couldn't "keep anything down". Then, because the tail end explosions kept happening I had to wear a .... sigh.... diaper. How embarassing!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, all in all... I'm much better now. Everything's passed and I'm now having real poops again and my food has stopped trying to escape my stomach.

I'm only glad that my usually camera happy parents decided NOT to immortalize all of this in photos.

MAX THE DOBE!!

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